The Leadership Course Was Great. Then Monday Happened

A tale from the frontline

I returned from a leadership course with a workbook, a certificate, an excellent tote bag and an ambitious action plan.

I was going to listen more, ask better questions, delegate effectively and give people space to think. By Friday, I intended to have improved the culture of the entire organisation. I hadn’t decided what to do the following week.

Then Monday happened.

An invoice needed approving. A meeting ran over. Someone brought me a problem and, before they’d finished explaining it, I was halfway through the solution.

The course was useful. Applying it turned out to require more practice than I’d expected.

Asking the question is only half the skill

At the first team meeting, I proudly announced my intention to become a better listener, then promptly interrupted a colleague. I had important things to say about giving other people a voice.

A few minutes later, I tried a question from my workbook: “What options do you see?”

I waited about four seconds before suggesting an option of my own.

It was an uncomfortable moment because it was so recognisable. I could understand a skill, value it and sincerely intend to use it, yet still fall back into familiar habits when work got busy.

Asking a good question and waiting for the answer are two separate skills. I’d apparently treated the second as an optional extra.

Make the action plan small enough to use

A long action plan feels productive at the end of a course. Back at work, fourteen commitments can quickly become fourteen things competing for attention.

I found a more useful starting point. At my next team meeting, I would ask just one question and give people time to answer before offering my view.

It looked modest. Embarrassingly modest. I briefly considered adding a diagram to make it look more substantial.

But it was something I could practise. And once that behaviour became more consistent, I would have something to build on.

Next Embarrassment

On Wednesday, my manager asked, “How was the course?”

I replied with the usual review of the facilitator, the exercises and, finally, the lunch. My assessment of the catering was particularly thorough.

As I spoke, I began to feel silly. Then came the follow-up: “What have you tried since you got back?”

I had rather hoped we’d spend longer on the lunch.

But that question opened a useful conversation. I talked about how I was applying the learning, including a few confessions about my awkward attempts.

My manager suggested I “leave room for imperfect progress”.

This was reassuring, given how much imperfection I already had available.

Waiting was harder than it looks.

With that advice and renewed enthusiasm, I asked a colleague a question.

There was a pause. The silence felt enormous. I became aware of the air conditioning and prepared several excellent suggestions. It seemed a shame to waste them.

Then my colleague spoke.

Their idea was good. The conversation went somewhere I hadn’t planned, and I was glad I’d waited.

I still interrupted later. But I caught myself and said, “Sorry, go on.”

It was hardly a masterclass in leadership. It did, however, allow my colleague to finish a sentence, which felt like a useful development for both of us.

Expecting immediate proficiency would have made those early attempts harder to sustain. Accepting a little awkwardness gave me a reason to keep trying.

My training certificate may go on a shelf. The tote bag has a promising future carrying groceries.

As for the listening, I’m still practising. My colleagues are well placed to assess my progress, provided I let them finish.

Keep the learning in the working week

If you’d like support turning leadership insights into everyday habits, get in touch with Stoke Consulting. We help leaders put learning into practice.

Stoke Consulting