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How to Cope with Unfairness in Your Career: A Brain-Based Approach
Unfairness in the workplace is an all-too-common reality. Missing out on promotions, being removed from roles where you’re excelling, or facing unjust treatment from a boss can feel deeply personal and destabilising. These events can leave you “flooded” — overwhelmed by emotions as your brain slips into survival mode. Understanding this response, rooted in the triune brain model, can help you regain control, recover, and move forward constructively.
What Happens When You Feel “Flooded”?
When faced with perceived injustice, your brain’s survival mechanisms kick in. Paul MacLean’s triune brain theory offers a helpful framework to understand this:
Reptilian Brain (Brainstem and Basal Ganglia): This is the oldest part of the brain, governing basic functions like breathing and heart rate. It also controls fight, flight, or freeze responses.
Mammalian Brain (Limbic System): Responsible for emotions and memory, this part processes the unfairness and attaches feelings like anger or sadness.
Cerebral Cortex (Neocortex): The rational brain. It’s here you can reflect, plan, and decide your next steps. However, when “flooded,” this part often gets overridden by the lower survival layers.
Why Does Unfairness Trigger Such a Strong Response?
Unfairness can feel like a threat to your survival because it challenges your sense of security, identity, and control. When “flooded,” your brain reverts to reptile mode, focusing solely on immediate self-preservation. This is why you might lash out, shut down, or ruminate excessively.
Moving Forward: Recovery and Taking Back Control
Coping with unfairness begins with recognising when you’re “flooded” and working to regain access to your higher brain functions. Here’s how:
- Acknowledge Your Feelings: Give yourself permission to feel angry, hurt, or disappointed. Naming these emotions can activate your cerebral cortex and help you process them more rationally.
- Ground Yourself: Techniques like deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or mindfulness can calm your reptilian brain and restore equilibrium.
- Reframe the Situation: Shift your focus from “Why is this happening to me?” to “What can I learn from this?” This reframing helps engage your rational brain, encouraging constructive problem-solving.
- Accept what you can control and what you can’t control: You can control how you react to a situation; you can’t control everything else in life including other people and what they think of you.
“Learn to respond rather than react” Kevin Wallace 2023
- Take Positive Action: Whether it’s seeking feedback, setting boundaries, or planning your next career move, actionable steps can restore your sense of agency.
- Build Resilience: Regularly practice gratitude, focus on your strengths, and cultivate supportive relationships to buffer against future stress.
A Choice to Thrive
While you can’t always control what happens to you, you can control how you respond. Recognising that being “flooded” is a natural brain response — not a personal failing — is the first step toward improvement. From there, you can choose to move forward with clarity and purpose.
At Stoke Consulting, we’re here to help you become a more effective leader which sometimes involves helping you build the tools to thrive in the face of unfairness. By understanding how your brain works, you can take back control and navigate your career with confidence.
Chris Read
Stoke Consulting
Leveraging his extensive leadership and entrepreneurial background, Chris consistently leads high-performing teams of leaders to outstanding business achievements. He excels in unravelling the intricacies of challenging business scenarios, crafting strategic plans and fostering deep trust including during executive coaching. This comprehensive and high integrity approach significantly elevates business performance for his clients, helping them to exceed expectations.